Ah, au sujet d’amour. This is something I have written on before, but not in the most positive of lights. I’ve said a lot about traveling being more important than dating. I’ve alluded to love in other posts of mine, fictionalized la romance, but other than that, if you haven’t noticed, I have steered clear of the subject. Love never used to sit well with me. Used to, being the key word here.
Perhaps I can associate my prior opinions about romance with my desire to be that heartbroken writer that shares the story that just punches you right in the gut. But I have come to terms that I will never be that writer. I love to make you laugh. I long to make you smile. Heck, I want you to cry (happy tears usually). But I never want a reader to finish reading one of my pieces and feel like they just died a little inside. That’s not my M.O.
With that being said, it’s true: everybody needs a little love to get by in this world. And that’s not just the romantic love either. I’m talking friend love, classmate love, teammate love, family love, as well as romantic love. There’s so many ways to say “I love you” without meaning it romantically. But I’ll admit from experience, hearing someone say “I love you” and mean it in that way does make you melt a little inside.
Despite my limited romantic experience, there are things I have come to realize from observations of mine. Unlike other situations and scenarios out there in the real world, love is an untamed beast. But it’s a beautiful creature, and one that is better understood as long as some things are understood first:
- Love has no rules. Seriously, no rules. You can’t control where Cupid pushes your attraction. We are attracted to who we are attracted to. It might be because the person intrigues you, comforts you, or whatever reason. Love will just happen, and either you welcome it or you run from it. Your choice.
- Love does not discriminate. Love doesn’t care who you are, what clothes you wear, your background, your sexuality, your gender, your gender expression, your past, your goals, your dreams, or any other determinant. We love who we love, and often times we don’t know why we do. We love who we love simply because we do. Love sees with the heart.
- Love happens when you least expect it. Trust me: do not wait around for love to happen to you. I spent years wishing, waiting, and wanting something to happen and it never worked out when I focused too much on it. Example if you think I’m kidding: if you stand outside in the middle of a drought, do you think it’s going to rain just because you stepped outside and asked for it? Of course not! Mother Nature will complete tasks on her own time. And so will love. Heck, I met my current boyfriend because I stopped and said hi to him in the hallway of a hotel while on a business trip. Again, love happens when you least expect it.
- Real love is terrifying, but like coming home. Love might scare you a little when it’s real. It scares you because you’re going to look at your boyfriend or girlfriend and think to yourself “is it really this easy?” The short answer is no, it’s not. Life isn’t easy. Being together through life’s trials and tribulations isn’t easy. But existing together, if it’s real love, is going to feel like coming home.
- Love is commitment. True love is dependent upon commitment. There will come times when you’re fighting or life is working to break you both apart, but you can’t let it. Life will test you, stretch you, but you’ll be thankful it did. Love is a commitment to each other, because you remember those first days spent together when your existence was all you needed to heal your past wounds. You’ll commit to one another because you know that what you have is beautiful, and needs to be preserved.
In reference to my first post on love: yes, travel and do all that you want to do before you settle down. Make sure that when you do settle down, it’s not because you have to, but because you want to. Let love come to you, and all the rest will fall into place.
